Hey everyone!
So I spent last weekend deep cleaning my house with my mom. Ahhhhh talk about relief! We cleaned out the office, guest room, bathroom, hallway, living room, and the kitchen. I mean we CLEANED, like washed walls, moved furniture, removed all from shelves and scrubbed. It was a lot of work but we almost got everything done we planned to do. The only reason we didn't get it all done was because the two hardest rooms planned for that weekend took longer than we thought it would. Since we have cleaned, I have been able on a motivated mission. Seriously, I have gotten so much done in the last week that it is crazy! Of, course by Friday I was completely exhausted to the point that I was falling asleep on the couch by 10. I'm still super proud of what we accomplished and how it made me feel afterwards.
Coming up, the hubban and I have the next 6 weekends packed. Cedar Point, 4th of July, another cleaning weekend (to get the basement and master bedroom and to decorate of course), his drill, a race, a wedding, and a much needed visit from great friends. Summer is the busiest time for us it seems! I just hope that playing and working so hard without much time to chill won't make my pretty house go boom again.
Since we are so busy, and I'm so motivated (warm weather does that to be ya know), I have been thinking about things that I could do to make my life easier. Once a month cooking was something that I was looking into, but I'm confused on how it works. I mean obviously you only prep once a month and then freeze everything, but the website I found had about 3 breakfasts, 4 lunches, and 6-8 dinners for the month. They then said that you would be eating each dinner twice a month. The math does not add up, so I may be doing more research on that.
Switching topics, I have found the show Pretty Little Liars on Netflix. Good Lord is it addicting! Perfect for escaping into a guilty pleasure. I'm also re-watching Charmed and experiencing True Blood on DVD. Netflix does wonders for the summer TV season. Alright everyone I need to get my butt to bed because tomorrow brings Cedar Point and an 18 hour day. Have wonderful nights and Happy Fourths! Cheers!
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Negative Nellie, party of 1 (draft posted with a note)
Hey guys I know I just posted something but I just found this post from awhile ago. I never published it and I really think it needs to be said. I still feel this way a lot. Anyways...here it is:
Everyone has those times that they remember in their lives. Some of those times are good, others are bad for different reasons. I haven't been doing well with being positive or improving my view of myself lately. I don't think I was always so negative but I know about the point that I lost that positivity. I was never really popular as a kid, I was literally picked last in gym class. I had parties where no one showed up, I was picked on horribly from about 2nd grade and all through high school. I've always been a third string kind of person, it wasn't until high school that I felt truly wanted in a group of friends and even some of those people hurt me badly. I'm not saying this to get pity. Please don't pity me, I have learned a lot from it and the friends I have now are some of the best people in the world. I'm telling you this because it has affected me.
If there is a lot of positive things going on in my life, I'm just waiting for the bad things to come back. If I suggest something, I know most people will think it shouldn't be done.
My pride keeps saying "this is smart because you are always prepared" but this sucks! Living like this makes you doubt yourself and everyone around you, it makes you scared to try anything because you might fail (again), and it makes people not want to be around you because you are so negative.
Recently I've been wondering what my life would have been like if I went to a different school, or if my parents would have noticed that I didn't really have friends. Of course, it is a much grander picture of my current life and fulfills all of the "I wish I..." criteria of my thoughts. I think everyone has felt like that at one time or another. If they say they haven't, I think they are lying.
Trying to become a positive person, is like trying to climb Mt. Everest without any training. I can't just tell myself to be happy, or to not feel like a failure. I usually have to work myself up to try something, and I don't always know how I started feeling happy. Can anyone teach you how to be happy?
I have a million things swirling around in my head right now and they are so all over the place within this topic that I just can't write it all down. Final thoughts: parents work on self worth, kindness, and overcoming fear/others with your children; everyone know that the negative person probably had to deal with a lot of shit growing up so work with them accordingly.
Guess I'll be starting my training to climb Everest soon. Cheers.
Everyone has those times that they remember in their lives. Some of those times are good, others are bad for different reasons. I haven't been doing well with being positive or improving my view of myself lately. I don't think I was always so negative but I know about the point that I lost that positivity. I was never really popular as a kid, I was literally picked last in gym class. I had parties where no one showed up, I was picked on horribly from about 2nd grade and all through high school. I've always been a third string kind of person, it wasn't until high school that I felt truly wanted in a group of friends and even some of those people hurt me badly. I'm not saying this to get pity. Please don't pity me, I have learned a lot from it and the friends I have now are some of the best people in the world. I'm telling you this because it has affected me.
If there is a lot of positive things going on in my life, I'm just waiting for the bad things to come back. If I suggest something, I know most people will think it shouldn't be done.
My pride keeps saying "this is smart because you are always prepared" but this sucks! Living like this makes you doubt yourself and everyone around you, it makes you scared to try anything because you might fail (again), and it makes people not want to be around you because you are so negative.
Recently I've been wondering what my life would have been like if I went to a different school, or if my parents would have noticed that I didn't really have friends. Of course, it is a much grander picture of my current life and fulfills all of the "I wish I..." criteria of my thoughts. I think everyone has felt like that at one time or another. If they say they haven't, I think they are lying.
Trying to become a positive person, is like trying to climb Mt. Everest without any training. I can't just tell myself to be happy, or to not feel like a failure. I usually have to work myself up to try something, and I don't always know how I started feeling happy. Can anyone teach you how to be happy?
I have a million things swirling around in my head right now and they are so all over the place within this topic that I just can't write it all down. Final thoughts: parents work on self worth, kindness, and overcoming fear/others with your children; everyone know that the negative person probably had to deal with a lot of shit growing up so work with them accordingly.
Guess I'll be starting my training to climb Everest soon. Cheers.
Oh there you are!
Hi! Long time no see. To be specific it was about 7 months ago that I last posted. I have thought about coming back many times but the lazy bug bit me in the ass hard. I also sometimes liken myself to a bear...I hibernate because I hate winter so dang much!
So anyways, I'm back. I have started a new job and truth be told, I hate it. I know this is common for many people, but what sucks even more is that I'm good at it but STILL hate it. My boss has even told me that. I work in a daycare and the kids are alright but I really don't like having 3 year olds for 10 hours a day that aren't mine. I get just enough hours but I'm still doing work outside of work and when I come home, I have just enough energy to make dinner but no cleaning or self improvement. As a result, I have back slid on ALL of my goals. The plus side is I do work with some pretty awesome people and I don't think I tell them that enough.
As it is now summer, and I'm getting sick of myself again, it's time to revamp and rededicate myself to me. I have to break down my goals into smaller bits because big bites do the opposite of motivate. I also have to learn to figure myself out and improve myself around my work schedule/energy/stress levels. I also have to be patient. I think this is really hard for me because I'm tired of feeling so crappy all of the time. If you could look at my soul, it would probably look like one of my less-than-stellar-motor-control student's drawings (a.k.a. a scribbly hot mess with lots of black and brown). I would prefer a soul closer to an impressionist painting, because they use pretty colors and it's not totally neat and tidy but it's still beautiful. Oh I just thought of something fun. If you draw a black dot on like a coffee filter or something and allow it to suck up water somehow, your black dot will start to spread. Not make the whole thing black, but turn into purple, blue, red and yellow. So maybe I just need more soul water.
So I don't know what I'm going to do about my understanding of God. I got to a better place with this goal before, but I haven't thought about how to revamp/rededicate this one.
As for my fitness, I'm starting very small. Let's get 80 oz of hydrating fluid a day. How did I get 80 oz? A trick my trainer taught me. You should be drinking half your body weight as oz each day. This includes water, milk, juice, no caffeine tea and coffee. I want more water than anything else because it's the best for you, but tea is good for me too. I want to be doing this for a month. Next can add in either the diet or the exercise...starting small remember?
My relationship with my husband has been doing very well. We are getting more on the same page with lots of things and have been more understanding of each other. I want to keep this going.
As for what I want to do with my life...I still want to be a stay at home mom. Career wise though, no clue. I think right now I'm just going to go with stay on top of lesson planning and having materials ready. Mom is helping with the sending in of applications but I don't get calls for interviews and the 1 interview I have gotten I failed miserably at. My hope is at the bottom of a deep well and I can't dwell on it. So, I need to make the work I do now, the best so that I can feel successful again at something career related.
Since I have lived by the philosophy of "messy bed, messy head" for a few years now (yes I know my house is actually a mess, and I get super lazy, but the saying rings true!) I am getting my ass in gear and making my house what I want it to be. I figure since we are only renting, we have been living here for 2 years, nothing is organized, everything is cluttered, the walls are bare, and my body feels frantic just sitting here, I'm DEEP CLEANING! Mom is coming over for 2 4 day weekends to help (which I love her for very much). We are organizing, sorting, throwing away, donating, scrubbing, and fixing most of the rooms the first weekend. The second weekend (a couple weeks later to allow motivation to blossom again) we are getting the basement done and decorating. All I can really say about this right now is "God, I hope this works!"
Anyways, that is where I am. That spot in the distance is where I'm hoping to be, and I am going to try to keep you all informed. It feels good to be back (which is surprising because I've never been a writer before) and I hope you all have great evenings.
Cheers!
So anyways, I'm back. I have started a new job and truth be told, I hate it. I know this is common for many people, but what sucks even more is that I'm good at it but STILL hate it. My boss has even told me that. I work in a daycare and the kids are alright but I really don't like having 3 year olds for 10 hours a day that aren't mine. I get just enough hours but I'm still doing work outside of work and when I come home, I have just enough energy to make dinner but no cleaning or self improvement. As a result, I have back slid on ALL of my goals. The plus side is I do work with some pretty awesome people and I don't think I tell them that enough.
As it is now summer, and I'm getting sick of myself again, it's time to revamp and rededicate myself to me. I have to break down my goals into smaller bits because big bites do the opposite of motivate. I also have to learn to figure myself out and improve myself around my work schedule/energy/stress levels. I also have to be patient. I think this is really hard for me because I'm tired of feeling so crappy all of the time. If you could look at my soul, it would probably look like one of my less-than-stellar-motor-control student's drawings (a.k.a. a scribbly hot mess with lots of black and brown). I would prefer a soul closer to an impressionist painting, because they use pretty colors and it's not totally neat and tidy but it's still beautiful. Oh I just thought of something fun. If you draw a black dot on like a coffee filter or something and allow it to suck up water somehow, your black dot will start to spread. Not make the whole thing black, but turn into purple, blue, red and yellow. So maybe I just need more soul water.
So I don't know what I'm going to do about my understanding of God. I got to a better place with this goal before, but I haven't thought about how to revamp/rededicate this one.
As for my fitness, I'm starting very small. Let's get 80 oz of hydrating fluid a day. How did I get 80 oz? A trick my trainer taught me. You should be drinking half your body weight as oz each day. This includes water, milk, juice, no caffeine tea and coffee. I want more water than anything else because it's the best for you, but tea is good for me too. I want to be doing this for a month. Next can add in either the diet or the exercise...starting small remember?
My relationship with my husband has been doing very well. We are getting more on the same page with lots of things and have been more understanding of each other. I want to keep this going.
As for what I want to do with my life...I still want to be a stay at home mom. Career wise though, no clue. I think right now I'm just going to go with stay on top of lesson planning and having materials ready. Mom is helping with the sending in of applications but I don't get calls for interviews and the 1 interview I have gotten I failed miserably at. My hope is at the bottom of a deep well and I can't dwell on it. So, I need to make the work I do now, the best so that I can feel successful again at something career related.
Since I have lived by the philosophy of "messy bed, messy head" for a few years now (yes I know my house is actually a mess, and I get super lazy, but the saying rings true!) I am getting my ass in gear and making my house what I want it to be. I figure since we are only renting, we have been living here for 2 years, nothing is organized, everything is cluttered, the walls are bare, and my body feels frantic just sitting here, I'm DEEP CLEANING! Mom is coming over for 2 4 day weekends to help (which I love her for very much). We are organizing, sorting, throwing away, donating, scrubbing, and fixing most of the rooms the first weekend. The second weekend (a couple weeks later to allow motivation to blossom again) we are getting the basement done and decorating. All I can really say about this right now is "God, I hope this works!"
Anyways, that is where I am. That spot in the distance is where I'm hoping to be, and I am going to try to keep you all informed. It feels good to be back (which is surprising because I've never been a writer before) and I hope you all have great evenings.
Cheers!
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