Oops! Busy Times...

So I realize that it has been forever since I have posted anything at all.  I have always had a hard time keeping a journal and I tend to forget that I didn't post then all of  a sudden it's been a month and I'm still silent.  So the silence stops here.  I'm not going to post the good things because I can't remember that far back.  I do have some sad news to report.  My poppa passed away, and as my mom puts it, I actually had a relationship with him so this death is harder than others I have experienced.  My poppa was very good at letting others shine but he loved golf, gardening, family, and being active.  It was only in the past year that his heath started going down because of Parkinson's and he was just a shell of his former self.  In the end, he went into respiratory arrest and became comatose looking more like a Halloween decoration than my poppa.  I know that he is in a better place with my Grandma, and he is breathing without oxygen, and getting ready to go golfing...but knowing that doesn't mean I don't miss him.  Leaving his house (which I'm at right now) for what will be the last time will be so hard because we have to sell the house.  This is the only house that I have ever known for my mother's parents.  We had a memorial service in NC last Tuesday July the 19th and the burial will be Saturday the 30th in Ohio.  I did copy some great old pictures of him and I will post them on my facebook because they are just so great!
Phil has also been out of town for a month and I had to get special permission to tell him everything that was going on because he was not allowed to talk to me.  (Stupid army and their thinking)  He gets to come home soon so I get a big part of my support system back which will be nice because I will be able to support my mom when she has to bury her dad. 
While we are in NC I have been able to keep working out, I may have put some weight on but I still went to the gym even though I was out of town.  So YAY me!  I also did some workouts at home.
Mom and I went to Wilmington to visit her college friend.  We went to decompress and have some light time before having to come back to start going through the house.  I got to play in the Atlantic Ocean, walk on the beach, get really sunburned, go on a ghost walk (which I love), and ask some questions about a possible career path.    I have come to the conclusion that I would do very well living in beach town because the less stressed atmoshere.  The possible career path would be a medical transcriptionist.  I would be able to work from home, make almost as much as I did teaching (depending on how much I work and type), and I could take it with me when I moved.  The only thing I'm nervous about is how accurate I have to be to pass the classes...high expectations often make me nervous because of my low self esteem, never thinking I'm good enough and all that.  I'm still not sure what I want to do...nothing seems to fit. 
My faith and I have been doing alright lately.  I kinda recognize that my beliefs will probably never totally be in line with the church.  For instance, the Bible...not always the best example of God or Jesus.  Old Testament, God was angry and punished people for not following him, my way or the highway attitude, then in the New Testament God loves everyone and forgives everyone as long as they ask for it.  Then the books in the Bible have been changed over the years, parts left out, new parts put in; on top of that, just about every monarch/pope has changed what the Bible has said to suit their needs which is why there is the King James Version, the Marry Poppins Version, the Grasshopper Version and all those other versions out there.  And as Christians we had to hold a conference to vote on whether Jesus was actually the son of God or just some nutter.  Finally when the books of the Bible were first written, there was a lot of opium being smoked in that area, and opium can cause hallucinations...I mean think about it, if your buddy got high and wrote a book because God told him what to say, would you think that is the most reliable writing?  I do believe in God, and Jesus and Heaven.  I think the stories in the Bible should be used like fables and folk tales, the morals should be looked at and then applied to life accordingly.  Jesus welcomed the children, in your life, care for the young because they are the future and looking to you to show them the right thing to do; Jesus gave water to the whatever was the "enemy" of some other chick, love other people even if you don't agree with their lifestyle.  I also believe in ghosts, because what more proof of life after death is that?  I mean earth bound spirits don't have it the best, and they haven't gone to where they need to go but sometimes our loved ones come back just to check on us.  There are times when I know I'm being watched over because I feel so loved and like nothing can hurt me.  My best friend's mother passed away a few years ago, around her deathday, my twin always feels her mother's presence around her.  I have seen twin after she felt her mom, and my twin has that quiet happiness and can only come from feeling the love someone has for us. 
Ok I'm going to stop preaching now.  I think I'm done for the night.  Thanks to everyone for the well wishes for my family!  Cheers!